The day of her testing, which was two days before surgery, my brother took her "In Town". (that's Massachusetts slang for going to Boston). The rest of us -- there are six adult children in all -- went about our daily lives, somewhat nervously watching the clocks in our offices and our cars and wondering how she was doing.
About 3 o'clock my sister called me at work -- my sister is the stay at home mom and I'm the one who works in an office -- immediately I knew something was wrong because my sister was crying into her end of the phone. My mom had gone for testing, they found something wrong with her heart, and they admitted her for more testing and observation. She was going to spend the night. We did not need to rush to the hospital, it was not life threatening. Once she got it all out, my sister was able to compose herself ...
sometimes you need to say something once or twice before it can be said without tears ... I had discovered this some weeks earlier when I first spoke the words, "my mom has cancer ..." and found myself sobbing by the time I got out the word "mom". The fifth or sixth time I had to tell someone, I had found the way to keep my lips moving and my tears inside. It isn't easy.
So, I understood my sister and I was glad I was the first one she called. We divided the list of who needed to be called, hung up, and went through what would be a new routine for us. Soon, I would have numbers in my cell phone I never had before -- my sister's two homes, her car phone, her cell phone. That's four just for her. But when I needed her, I needed her. One brother has a business and I have his cell phone, his store phone, even his warehouse phone. I am getting to know the employees who answer his phones. They are getting good at tracking him down when I need him. Sometimes we just need each other. I need to tell someone what Mom did today or they need to tell me ... more on that later.
The next day we all arrived at varying times to see my mom at Mass General. The story now was that she had arrived for post op in near congestive heart failure. Her body was retaining much too much fluid, her blood pressure was sky high, and getting these things under control became the priority. Besides the cancer, she was not well, not well enough, in fact, for surgery. The operation scheduled would have to be postponed. As we all processed that news, the unsaid thought became: my mom has cancer and it is growing inside of her. We are helpless to stop the cancer right now.
Attention turned to mom's new diagnoses and a cardiologist was added to her team.
2 comments:
I think it's wonderful that your reaching out and sharing your story with others...it really helps to connect with people that have gone through simiar circumstances. Prayers and thoughts to you and your mom.
I send my best wishes to you and your family as you go through this awful life experience. Our family is going through it also. I have a 26 year old daughter and a 29 year old son. They are both newly married with no children.
My husband was "off his game" in the weeks prior to our daughters wedding last summer. Several weeks and many difficult fights later, to get medical attention from the CT doctors, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.
Our lives have been in a swirling whirlpool since then. He has had two surgeries at Sloan-Kettering in NYC and now Chemotherapy back here in CT.
I know how hard it is to love someone who has been told that they have cancer. I also see my young adult children struggle with remaining positive and hopeful. Keep up the great work of family! I'll be looking forward to following your blog.
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